Ten things one has learned over the last week:

* Making discworld-themed halloween outfits on zero budget:
  Is as frustrating as it is fun.

* Kids at public bath houses really should learn:
  more of a song than just the chorus. 

* One should not don a mask when using heavy amounts of spray paint:
  Because it's more fun that way.

* One should not play badminton:
  Because ones' legs won't work the next day.

* One should not play badminton with one's elders:
  Because they will mince you into an undignified puddle of crying mulch.

* One should not watch "The Colour of Magic":
  Because it's terrible. One should just re-read the book for the umpteenth time.

* Exchanging the meat from one's standard burritos for fried beans:
  Is hella more cost-effective and delicious than said meat.

* One should remember to do one's girlfriend's laundry when one has thusly promised:
  Or one will feel alot more guilty than is pleasurable.

* Copper spray paint will not adhere to duct tape:
  Because of physics, one assumes.

* One should stick to the athletical activities one can master:
  Such as Mortal Kombat II and heavy drinking.

I was born, in the year of our Lord- 1983, unto my pirate mother and forger father. They didn't know what the heck to do with me, so they named me Stefan and fostered me to be the most decent snake peddler that Podunk had ever seen. I quickly left that humdrum life and by correspondence course became a horse. I swaggered across Lemuria for a while, got mixed up with some black market ostriches, and in one fatal mescaline-fueled night broke in to the sausage factory. I lived beneath the mixing vat, feeding on raw sausage spills for 37 odd years.

I am not an habitual liar, but I do dislike writing inane stuff such as my own biography.

This site has been under construction for about one crazy week. It will remain so for some time still. Meanwhile, please browse and enjoy, and give me a holler if you're up for it.